mother, but which version?

Kids are sitting at table doing homework. A little plastic statue of the Virgin Mary is sitting on table. Usually, she sits on the counter above the sink so I have a place to put my ring when I’m doing dishes.

Me: what’s the Virgin Mary doing on the table?

Son Number Three: who?

Me: the Virgin Mary statue…. why’s this on the table? [picks up statue and starts to put it back]

SNTh: What’s a versionary?

[Baph cracks up]

Baph: [aside to me] new word! You know, someone who thinks up new versions, instead of having visions they have versions.

Me: yeah, that’s pretty good.

SNTh: [persisting] what’s a versionary?

Baph: no, Vvvvirgin MAAAry

SNTh: VVirgin Maary. What’s a Virginmary?

Me: [‘houston, we have a problem’] uh… it’s a nice story…

[kids faces go serious – ‘it’s a nice story’ has been recognized now as “mommy is stalling”]

Me: [foundering] she, uh, had a baby without a….

Baph: without a husband!

Me: noooo… she had a husband.. she, uh, just…. didn’t have a…. father

SNTwo: Versionmary didn’t have a dad?

Me: no…. she uh, didn’t have a …man to uh, give her the baby…. or something

[baph starts laughing]

SNTw: versionmary didn’t have a man for the baby? how –

Me: [thinking fast] SHE HAD A MAGICAL BABY, OKAY?

[baph cracks up. kids go back to homework]

Baph: nice save!

Me: shaddup.


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