Kids are sitting at table doing homework. A little plastic statue of the Virgin Mary is sitting on table. Usually, she sits on the counter above the sink so I have a place to put my ring when I’m doing dishes.
Me: what’s the Virgin Mary doing on the table?
Son Number Three: who?
Me: the Virgin Mary statue…. why’s this on the table? [picks up statue and starts to put it back]
SNTh: What’s a versionary?
[Baph cracks up]
Baph: [aside to me] new word! You know, someone who thinks up new versions, instead of having visions they have versions.
Me: yeah, that’s pretty good.
SNTh: [persisting] what’s a versionary?
Baph: no, Vvvvirgin MAAAry
SNTh: VVirgin Maary. What’s a Virginmary?
Me: [‘houston, we have a problem’] uh… it’s a nice story…
[kids faces go serious – ‘it’s a nice story’ has been recognized now as “mommy is stalling”]
Me: [foundering] she, uh, had a baby without a….
Baph: without a husband!
Me: noooo… she had a husband.. she, uh, just…. didn’t have a…. father
SNTwo: Versionmary didn’t have a dad?
Me: no…. she uh, didn’t have a …man to uh, give her the baby…. or something
[baph starts laughing]
SNTw: versionmary didn’t have a man for the baby? how –
Me: [thinking fast] SHE HAD A MAGICAL BABY, OKAY?
[baph cracks up. kids go back to homework]
Baph: nice save!