by smibbo (c) 2023

SUMMARY

The movie Eighth Grade, written and directed by Bo Burnham, was released by A24 films in 2018. The movie is available to stream for free with a Max subscription. It is also available to rent on Prime.

The principal characters: Kayla Day, a 13-year old girl in the last week of eighth grade; Mark Day, Kayla’s father; Aiden, Kayla’s classmate and secret crush; Olivia, a high school girl who mentors Kayla for a day; Riley, a friend of Olivia’s; Kennedy and Steph, both classmates of Kayla’s; and Gabe, Kennedy’s cousin.

The movie opens with Kayla making an entry for her video blog. This is the framework of the story; each blog entry sets up Kayla’s actions for the next or on-going scene.

 There are many familiar themes in Eighth Grade that we have covered in class, but I will focus on the following four: Family, Identity, Intimacy and Peer groups.

THEMES

Family

In the movie, the only family member that exists is Kayla’s father, Mark. Kayla’s mother is nonexistent. Mark mentions her leaving when Kayla was a baby, so it is clear her absence is normal for them both. As is mentioned in the textbook, Adolescence: 10^th ed, children of single parent homes who did not live through the conflict of divorce or custody issues, fare marginally better than children from two-parent homes that have conflict  of any sort (Steinberg, 2014). In a meta-study titled Early Mother-child separation, parenting, and child well-being in Early Head Start families about early-maternal abandonment, assumptions are made about maternal abandonment signaling unstable households that are chaotic for the child (Howard, 2011) But Kayla and her father do not suffer from poverty nor is their home life chaotic or unstable. They clearly have a stable routine; they eat dinner together, Mark has clearly expressed rules, and he bids her good night every evening.

According to the textbook, Mark’s parenting style of expectations and attention fits well into the Authoritative style (p. 130). One might think he leans slightly towards Indulgence, due to his quiet style of allowing Kayla to talk to him rudely, but he imposes his rules by successfully insisting she pay attention to him when he speaks. When he speaks, it is to encourage her and show he supports who she is.

As Mark reveals near the end of the movie, Kayla was always a compassionate, kind child  indicating she did not need an abundance of discipline or correction. Mark’s style is a response to Kayla’s personality as much as her behavior towards him is a response to his parenting style. This bears out the claim outlined in the textbook that parents influence how their children behave towards them and vice versa (p. 128)

One scene in particular show’s Mark’s authoritative side clearly: the mall trip. Kayla goes to hang out with her new friend Olivia at the mall. After socializing for a while, someone notices Mark from afar; he has been watching Kayla with her friends. Only Kayla knows who he is and is immediately furious and humiliated. She runs away to confront him in private. As soon as Kayla sees Mark, he knows he has crossed a line with her, and immediately apologizes without fanfare or excuses, saying only “sometimes dads are weird and… I’m just being really weird.” He gives her money, apologizing again, and accepts it when she says she will get a ride home.

In that scene, Mark respects his daughter enough to admit he has wronged her, apologizes, and lets her come home without him.

Later, Kayla comes home disturbed by her experience with Riley and Mark attempts to comfort her. At first, she rebuffs him angrily, but he eventually rubs her back and talks to her soothingly. Their relationship is both realistic and loving, with mutual respect.

Identity

The movie begins with one of Kayla’s video blog entries about “being yourself” Watching Kayla throughout the movie, the obvious question arises “but what if you don’t know who you are? Or what if you don’t like who you are? What if you want to be someone else?”

This is Kayla’s current struggle. Her current identity is not clear to her. The very first thing we see at school is that the person voted “most quiet” by her classmates is Kayla. According to her blog post, she does not believe she is quiet; she simply has no one she wants to talk to.

Adolescents build and discover their identity over the course of their maturity. One of the first steps is differentiating their self-concept. As per the textbook, Kayla is learning that personality traits can be a spectrum, rather than binary (p. 256). Kayla does not just say “I’m not really quiet” she contextualizes it. This is a subject that comes up again when she is with her new friends at the mall; she tells Riley “I used to be quiet too” and they tease each other about it. This is true of all her efforts to change. She wants to have more confidence, and more self-esteem, but it is not straight-forward. Confidence may not help you make friends at a party where you are unwanted, but it might work when you decide to sing karaoke. With each success, you can see Kayla’s self-esteem move up. Likewise, with each failure, you can see her disappointment in herself.

Kayla is a member of Generation Z; the internet and social media is effortless and embedded in her life. Her self-perception centers on how she presents herself online, not so much as how she is in real life. In the beginning, this presents what the textbook defines as false self-behavior; describing oneself in ways that are opposite of how one is while being aware of the dissonance (p. 256).

What’s interesting, and probably the crux of the movie, is that Kayla exhibits uncommon bravery wrestling with Erikson’s struggle of Identity versus Identity Diffusion as mentioned in the textbook (p. 266). In trying out different personality traits in social situations, Kayla uses the reactions of others (mostly her peers) to judge herself. She knows she has succeeded or failed to achieve those traits. To wit, Kayla  actively decides to start taking her own advice.

It is not until she meets Olivia and hangs out with her that Kayla feels like she may have finally found someone she can “be herself” around. When she is with Olivia’s group, Kayla mostly observes but is not too overwhelmed to join in occasionally. It is the first time we see Kayla relax and have fun. Her identity, at least with this group, is comfortable.

Intimacy

Like all humans, Kayla craves connection. But Kayla has no intimate friends at all. Until she meets Olivia, Kayla is isolated; she has no friends, no group, and despite playing in orchestra, does not seem to socialize with her peers at all. Her only intimate relationship is with her father.

Early in the movie, Kayla reacts to seeing Aidan, her secret crush. Later, she is in her bed, pretending to kiss him while watching a video he has posted online. Romantic interest in early adolescents who have no other history of intimacy is highly unusual. Studies mentioned in the textbook state that girls’ romantic intimacy grows from previous intimate relationships (p. 338) but Kayla has none. This makes her sudden romantic aspirations and subsequent actions inauthentic. It becomes clear that Aidan is only interested in sexual matters which Kayla is not knowledgeable about.

In a later scene with Riley, Kayla is overwhelmed by his sexual overtures, and adamant about not complying. Her ability to stand up for herself is also inauthentic; it is well known that girls in early adolescence who are pressured for sexual activity often end up becoming sexually active against their will. (p. 343)

This was one of the only parts of the movie that did not ring true. However, the study Patterns of Romantic Relationship Experiences and Psychosocial Adjustment from Adolescence to Young Adulthood has shown that dating among adolescents is highly variable and correlations with self-esteem and life satisfaction are not statistically significant (Gonzalez Avilés, 2021). So perhaps it is merely unusual rather than inauthentic.

Near the end of the movie, Kayla has a date with Gabe, whom she met at Kennedy’s party. They simply talk and eat McDonald’s nuggets. It is a sweet and natural scene showing Kayla’s newfound ability to relax. This scene is authentic, in that it shows a natural progression from intimacy in friendship, to intimacy on a deeper level. A meta-study titled Teenagers in Love has shown that dating fulfills varied needs for young adolescents, from social status to feeling “normal” to simply getting rid of loneliness. Early experiences with “love” are often more a visual infatuation (Moore, 2016). By the time Kayla has her first real date, she seems ready to try actual dating, rather than fantasizing.

Peer Groups

The textbook delineates peer groups into cliques and crowds. Crowds are a large, group of people who share some kind of status or reputational identity. Crowds are often formed from many cliques. A clique is a small group of friends who all are roughly the same age and sex who usually have a few things in common (pp. 158-159). Kayla is part of neither. The textbook outlines different forms of popularity as sociometric popularity (how much others like you) and perceived popularity (where you fit in the hierarchy) (p. 174) Since Kayla is well aware that she has no perceived popularity, the only thing she can change on her own is her sociometric popularity by trying to get others to like her.

What is crucial to the identity theme, however, is that Kayla has actively decided to become someone different. In her social context, she needs her classmates to see her differently. As the textbook explains, crowds and cliques help adolescents define who they are by adopting the traits of their peer group and positively reinforcing that identity (p. 183).

Kayla’s efforts to get the popular girls, Kennedy and Steph, to like her fall flat. It is not until she bonds with Olivia, someone who is a likeable, kind helpful person, that Kayla feels like she does not have to change everything about herself.

One of the last scenes in the movie is Kayla waiting to graduate. She suddenly decides to talk to Kennedy and Steph. She politely informs them that they are not good people, while she is a good person. By doing so, Kayla reinforces her confidence and self-regard. Afterward, Kayla smiles, knowing she has been true to herself. This self-perpetuating cycle of confidence and self-esteem is a result of maturing prosocial reasoning and though it’s somewhat early in Kayla’s maturation, it is reasonable due to her father’s positive parenting, her early signs of empathy and her successful attempts at self-regulation (i.e. the panic attack at the party). This cycle fulfills the outline from the textbook neatly (pp. 305-306) and is believable and accurate.

CONCLUSION

Overall, the movie Eighth Grade is a highly accurate portrayal of early adolescence. From the anxiety, the transitions, the burgeoning intimacy/sexuality, and the social struggling, it highlights what adolescence is all about: change. In the very end of the movie, Kayla promises her future self that whatever change comes, she will be able to weather it. What a perfect message for any teenager to learn.

Though Kayla’s progress is early, and quite fast, this can be attributed to the media chosen; in order for a two-hour movie to be worth watching, we need an appealing and relatable protagonist, and we must have some kind of resolution.

Kayla is a wonderful role model for both other adolescents to learn from, and for students of adolescence. She makes mistakes, stumbles blindly sometimes and yet picks herself up and tries again. This persistence is indicative of what it means to be human, whether teenager or adult. In that respect, it is a movie worth watching for anyone.

References

Gonzalez Avilés, T. F. (2021). Patterns of Romantic Relationship Experiences and Psychosocial Adjustment From Adolescence to Young Adulthood. Journal of youth and adolescence, 50(3), 550-562.

Howard, K. M.-G. (2011). Early Mother-child separation, parenting, and child well-being in Early Head Start families. Attachment and Human Development, 13 (1), pp5-26.

Moore, S. (2016, June 8). Teenagers in Love. The Psychologist, p. 2016. Retrieved from The Psychologist: The British Psychological Society: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/teenagers-love

Steinberg, L. (2014). Adolescence Tenth Ed. NYC: McGraw-Hill.