morning show

We were in the car this morning, listening to morning radio. Where we live, the show doesn’t have a title, it’s just the morning DJs basically yakking about stuff and pulling pranks, making fun of people, etc. One of the DJs is named Jimmy Baron and he’s pretty much the stereotyped Jew (trust me, that’s his chosen schtick) Most people can’t stand him. His whole “appeal” is that he’s a whiney, uptight jerk who has a nasally opinion on everything.
At one point, they’re talking about men and women and divorce. Jimmy complains about how men are given short shrift in the public eye when it comes to break-ups. A famous person is mentioned; someone who was married for 25 years to his high school sweetheart only to dump her for someone else who was young and famous. Jimmy says “people rag on him and everything but, you know, how do you know she wasn’t a complete raving bitch? Huh? How do you know she wasn’t a total lunatic for 25 years? What about that?”
I point out to son number one that the possibility of the dumped wife being a raving bitch or lunatic was pretty slim seeing as how they were married so long.
“why,” I said, “would he stay with her so long if she was a raving bitch? People just don’t stay with someone for 25 years if they’re crazy or horrible”

“oh, I don’t know,” he replied, “I mean, people have been listening to Jimmy for a long time now”

gotta start somewhere….?

[joking around with family friend]

Me: who you? the “wanna-be gangsta”?

Son Number One: but he’s a nice gangsta!

Me: [thoughtfully] a nice wanna-be gangsta… hmmm

Son Number One: yeah, he could do drive-by arguments.

well he’s learned SOMETHING…

[basic chatter amongst adults about the state of public education in Georgia]

Son Number One puts on his best announcer’s voice and says:

“due to recent Federal Budget cuts, Georgia schools will have to start cutting corners wherever possible.  From now on, ‘math’ will now be spelled with two “F”s.”

The true conspiracy to terrorize Americans…

Me: man! everyone’s driving like a total idiot today! It’s like no one is looking where’s they’re going…

[incident with distracted driver ensues]

Me: DAMMIT! You see that? He’s not even looking where he’s going! Bah, I guess everyone’s listening to the radio –

Son number 1: the war and all….

Me: yeah, so I guess they’re all listening to the radio for news on the war and they’re totally not paying atttention TO DRIVING THEIR FUCKING CAR!

Son number 1 (in his awesome radio announcer’s voice): As of this moment, President Bush has caused only four soldiers have been killed in the war. President Bush has, however, caused 5 car accidents every 20 seconds.

being an “altparent” really really sucks sometimes

I think my oldest has been ditching school. They call me (They being a social worker) to tell me he has 22 unexcused absences.
“we need to meet about this”

I’m thinking, “why? so you can bitch me out for not being June fucking Cleaver?”

I admit it. I’ve let my kid stay home a lot. You wanna know why? Because the public school he goes to is awful. He HATES it. I HATE it. He still get top marks and does his homework. When I met with the challenge teacher (that’s the ‘gifted’ program) he raved about how easy everything was for my son; how during every open-book test my son does not use the book, finishes before everyone and still gets highest marks.

That horrible woman was YELLING at me on the phone because I said “look at his grades. I am trying to get him to school everyday on time but it’s really hard and I guess I’m just not very good at it.”

She actually said “It’s important that he BE in school”
so I said “I thought it was important for him to get educated. Look at his grades, you’ll see he’s doing fine”
So she started issueing dire vague threats about filing with the court for truancy.

She’s yelling at me “we need to know what the problem is”
I kept telling her the only problem is that I am just not very good at getting it all done properly.
Finally I lost it and said “the problem is that he HATES that school! We did not have this problem at his private school. The staff at your school have abused me and so frankly I really don’t care about them or their rules”

More threats.
I agree to meet with her.

Oh boy, an hour of them telling me how awful I am and how bad this all is and I’m not a good parent and blahblahblah.

As far as I can see, its just that they want to sit there and bitch me out for a while.

I’m so over public education in this state.