summer dilemma

“I am going to work on this house! Clean! Organize! rearrange!”

versus

“I need to get this kid out of the house and doing summer stuff which will tire us both out to the max so we can couch-binge Netflix during the evening until bedtime”

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Breaking Bad was great….

When I watched Breaking Bad, I thought was the absolute best show I’d ever seen on TV.
Then I saw Orphan Black.
Then I saw Mr Robot.
Then I saw Jessica Jones and Luke Cage.
Then I saw Stranger Things.
Then I saw Sense8.
Then I saw 3%.
Then I saw Dark.
Then I saw Altered Carbon.

Breaking Bad was amazing with the plot, and characters but the other shows have other shining accomplishments. I can’t say enough about Dark’s incredible cinematography and intricate plotlines with acting that goes above and beyond what we ever see here in America. But Altered Carbon is like watching Blade Runner ramped up times ten. 3% is character-driven and brutal in its depictions of human aggression whereas Sense8 has a sensual joy that no other show has ever touched (or probably will try) StrangerThings has its nostalgia and amazing acting. The Marvel shows are intense fantasy with shades of moral questioning thrown in. Mr Robot gives you a roller coaster ride not unlike Fight Club while Orphan Black was just identity exploration gone haywire.

though it’s been slow to catch up, I’d put Cleverman as an honorable mention becuase of it’s vast array of characters who, much like the old show Heroes, struggle mightily with racism, identity and ethics while navigating a terrifying world teetering on the brink of fascism

Why I Take Selfies

1) I get worried I will die and my loved ones won’t have any current pics of me at my best

2) I want to remind myself that I don’t look as hideous as the world makes me feel sometimes

3) when I look good, I want to record it. Not so I can gloat about it later, but so I can build up a library of “i was looking good that day” – sometimes I will look back a month later and swipe through thinking “actually I had a lot of good days!”

4) Sometimes, it really is nice to have people say “wow, you look great!”

5) it helps counteract the reactions I get on the street sometimes

6) mostly I do them without makeup (or much makeup – sometimes I hide my face-picking which I think is totally fair) so later I can remember that I can look nice without exaggerating anything. I look okay as JUST ME

7) I imagine someday Lil Miss will look through my pics and maybe she’ll see her own looks peeking out behind my eyes and i want her to not be afraid of looking bad when she gets old

8) Some days I just feel good about myself and want to record that feeling

9) I remember looking at old photos of my parents (My step-mom and my birth-mom) and thinking many thoughts, all of them warm and wonderful. I want to pass that moment on to my kids

10) sometimes a selfie is a reminder of something that happened that was important. One of my favorites was “this is the face of someone who has taken her last final” – the day I earned my bachelors by taking my final final. It was a unique expression and I love looking at it because I feel that feeling all over again

11) I like to record how my hair changes

12) I notice how little my face changes

Food: pear tartsorta

Lots of times, I get a weird hankering in the wee hours of the night to make something like a treat. I confess I have a sweet-tooth but my problem is that my sweet-tooth is rather picky about how it is sated. So I often end up experimenting during those weird hankering nights. Because I’m not just jonesing for a treat, I’m usually jonesin to create.

Some people say I’m a creative person but let’s be real: my creativity isn’t all that and a bag of chips. It’s more like a plate of french fries: I make good things that are satisfying but nowhere near impressive. Good, fulfilling but not terribly otre, yaknowaddahmean?

So tonight, I remembered that I had some leftover cooky dough in the fridge and I ought to do something with it. Make cookies? Oh please, how dull. I dont’ mean dull as in my cookies are dull because they most definitely are not dull, but dull as in something to bake. Finishing off some cooky dough by making cookies is more like a *job*.

So me being me, and not being somebody else, like say, Anthony Bourdain, I usually take a “dull” idea for sweet treats and dress it up… with fruit.

I think its too bad America has lost it’s love of fruit. Damned shame.

Anyway, I took my leftover cooky dough, one of my favorites that I like to call “the vanilla action cookie” and decided to marry it with…. spiced pears.

All I did was roll the dough out, cut it into vaguely triangular shapes and roll it around some sliced bartlett pears that had been tossed with brown sugar and nutmeg and cinnamon. That was pretty much it. I didn’t go all crazy with the shapes or rolling or whatever fancy shit you do when you’re cooking for an audience that has paid you to make the stuff, I essentially stuffed my vanilla action cookies with spiced pear slices and tossed them in the oven at 400 for about 10 minutes.

 

The results were astoundingly good. Better than Donald Trump’s hyperbole, in fact.

If it wasn’t 3:30 am I’d put the whole recipe down here. Along with a picture of those delectable pockets of warm yumminess. But I’m tired so I won’t.

I’ll probably get around to it tomorrow. Assuming all the pear pockets aren’t gone by then.

 

the things I have learned about men from OkCupid

THE FOLLOWING IS SATIRE AND SNARKY

1. Men clearly are more interested in finding “that special lady” than women are in finding “that special man” In fact usually women are trying to find “new friends”
2. Saying “just looking for new friends” translates into “SKEEVY MEN PLEASE MESSAGE ME”
3. Many women are actually a couple
4. Signing up for OkCupid is enough; there’s no real need to waste anyone’s time telling them about yourself
5. Further: don’t even bother filling out basic personal information. Just post a blurry photo and mention how you’re a laid-back uncomplicated man
6. Exchanging one or two messages is plenty. Move on before you get attached to them
7. There is no need to actually read an entire profile before messaging someone
8. Further: there is no need to actually write a personal message – make up a form introduction and send it out as soon as you see a new profile go up. Form letters are proper corporate etiquette so it will be super-impressive to make one for a dating site
9. Photos are for wusses. If you must put one up, either get your work pic or take a selfie right now. Don’t worry about the lighting or your expression. Sitting around scowling in the dark is what you do normally anyway
10. If someone seems interested in you, answering with any enthusiasm is foolish. Appear aloof and cool

(note: I am bisexual and so far have managed to make contact with exactly three women in the two years I’ve been on OkC. All I’ve learned so far is that women are really unlikely to actually use OkC for its intended purpose)