A request and a warning

Long ago, when I first got on LJ ‘for serious’ (not just tossing witticisms every now and then while drunk) I discovered some parenting community for people with disabled kids. I think that community is gone now… can’t remember. But I “met” a woman who immediately stole my heart. I can’t even remember what it was specifically but somebody wrote something rather callous and I responded in my typically hotheaded way and my friend totally jumped in and backed me up. I was amazed as usually when I jumped in communities I was alone. I’d get private messages from people thanking me for speaking up and basically telling me they didn’t have the guts. I always told them I understood and I was glad to know I wasn’t truly alone. So when my friend jumped up publicly and totally had my back with more wit and intelligence than I ever had in those situations, I think I fell in love a little.


SO of course we friended each other on LJ. Over the years we have texted each other, called each other on the phone and sent each other gifts. The love is there for real.


Okay so the situation is this: before I “met” my friend, she was married to this guy. They wanted children very very badly. She, like me, felt like being a parent was something she’d always wanted, was readying herself for. So they had their first. He had a terminal genetic condition. He didn’t make it to his teens.


So they had more children through donor insemination. Those children have neurological differences. They are AWESOME kids who are destined to do great things (her oldest is in Arctic Rescue. if that isn’t “great things” I don’t know what is)

She and her husband didn’t make it and they divorced.

Then she met an AMAZING man. They got married. They have an awesome marriage. But her kids were already well into their teens. They even did foster care for other kids. Some were official in the state foster care program. Some were unofficial like raising her relative’s child while said relative was busy being a crackhead. Literally.

But they wanted to raise a baby together. From the beginning. In fact, they wanted to raise at least two children together. So they got pregnant.


Their son is a beautiful amazing boy. His siblings adore him.


He has a mitochondrial disorder.


So this time, they are going to have a surrogate mother who is artificially inseminated by the husband.


Between teh surrogacy and their son’s numerous medical issues, they are trying to get donations of frequent flyer miles.


That’s all I’m asking. If you are interested in donating your miles, contact me and I will be happy to give more details.


If you think this is terrible and goes against your beliefs or you assume you know anything beyond what I’ve written here, just keep it to yourself.


Part of why I didn’t write more is because of their privacy (although my friend is amazingly open with receptive people and she can damned sure take care of anyone who is not so respectful) but part of it is because of me. Over the years, throughout this story unfolding, being a miniscule part of it, I have shed more tears and had more frustrations than you can imagine. Nothing compared to what my friend and her family has dealt with, of course, but honestly I have a very hard time talking about her situation without losing it. So I’d rather not dump everything all at once. Consider that fair warning, though, if you have the urge to send me a msg that is anything but supportive – I will delete your comment. Don’t like any part of this? keep it to yourself.


I’m only asking if you have miles you are willing to donate you consider donating to them. Trust me when I say they deserve it.


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