manners and school

so I talked to a counsellor again today. Geeziz. They’re going to take him out of the Honor’s classes he is in (and he’s auditing those classes, being excused from the first half of the semestre so quality of his work isn’t important, just completion) because his refusal to do the science fair guarantees his failing. They want to put him in regular classes and reduce his classload by one so he can spend one period a day with the parapro learning organization and study skills.

I told he we weren’t convinced that changing his class was the best approach and at this point we were leaning towards letting him repeat ninth grade. In deeper discussion she had to agree that the problem really isn’t his organization or study skills (although I agree they need work) its wholly his attitude. I told her we’ve been trying to make him understand the consequences of his actions and failing the ninth grade and repeating it SHOULD be a natural consequence but she hemmed and hawed and eventually let loose that his demeanor in the honor’s class has become an issue as well; he is overly sarcastic and dismissive of the class to the point of making the entire class uncomfortable. Let’s put this in plain ENglish: he’s being an ass and making fun of the class thinking he’s being terribly clever but what he’s really doing is insulting everyone there.


So its not just that they think he doesn’t belong, he’s actually disrupting the class. Fan-fucking-tastic.

This isn’t a new thing. His perception of his humor and the reality of his humor are two different things. And don’t think I’m giving excuses because of his Aspergers because I’m most decidedly NOT. He’s been warned about this tendancy to be insulting before. its been a problem before and we’ve had many careful, instructive discussions before about the proper attitude around others and how to judge other’s reactions.

So commence a nice angry conversation here at home with him. It goes in the same damned circles and i end up getting really fucking mad at him. I just feel like he’s deliberately ignoring everything we say every damned time. I look at him and I can tell that he’s just not believing anything we say.

“Son” if you try to finish other people’s sentences, that’s rude.”
“Son when you say general sarcastic things, you are actually making fun of the subject matter”
“Son if you don’t act pleasant towards your teacher or pay attention, you are basically being rude to them; you are telling them you don’t respect what is important to them”

and on and on while he just nods his head and looks at us with that blank stare. This is reminescent of the hygeine problem with Son Number One. It didn’t matter how many fucking times we told him “YOU STINK. TAKE A SHOWER, WEAR CLEAN CLOTHES AND USE DEODERANT” he kept ignoring us. until he was kicked out of class for smelling too bad
After that incident, he got his shit together and starting being clean.

SO what’s it going to take for Son Number Three and his snarky attitude? I just told him that he was upsetting other students, insulting them. “you think you’re being clever and funny but really you are OFFENDING them”

he looked surprised, but I have no way of knowing whether its going to sink in. WTF

I actually ended up yelling at him “I raised you better than this! you are a kind considerate boy! BUT NOW YOU ARE INSULTING PEOPLE! YOU KNOW BETTER!”



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