Showertime. Second son goes downstairs to take his shower. He comes back up, upset.
Son Number Two: Mom! You gotta help me!
Me: what’s wrong?
SNT: The water’s too hot!
Me: Oh come on son, you know how to turn on the shower.
SNT: No! You gotta help me! I cant’ get the shower from the too hot!
Me: [sigh] alright…
In the bathroom.
Me: Now look, here’s the faucets. Son!
Me: Look, you see this one? It has an “H” on it? That’s the hot. See the other one? It has a “C” on it? That’s the cold and-
SNT: [obviously distraught] but WHERE’S THE WARM?!?