Showertime. Second son goes downstairs to take his shower. He comes back up, upset.

Son Number Two: Mom! You gotta help me!

Me: what’s wrong?

SNT: The water’s too hot!

Me: Oh come on son, you know how to turn on the shower.

SNT: No! You gotta help me! I cant’ get the shower from the too hot!

Me: [sigh] alright…

In the bathroom.

Me: Now look, here’s the faucets. Son!

SNT: huh?

Me: Look, you see this one? It has an “H” on it? That’s the hot. See the other one? It has a “C” on it? That’s the cold and-

SNT: [obviously distraught] but WHERE’S THE WARM?!?