Son number three: Hey mom, why don’t they make mafia suits in my size?

Me: you want to be in the mafia?

SNT: yeah, they got the suits –

Me: Son, you can’t be in the mafia. You have to be two things to be in the mafia: one – you have to be a grown-up and two – you have to be Italian. You are neither of those things.

[Son number three looks crestfallen]

SNT: I just want to…

Me: son, the Mafia are bad guys… you don’t want to be a bad guy!

SNT: [going through the door] oh, that’s right… heh heh, sorry about that…nevermind!

[slams door]