The true conspiracy to terrorize Americans…

Me: man! everyone’s driving like a total idiot today! It’s like no one is looking where’s they’re going…

[incident with distracted driver ensues]

Me: DAMMIT! You see that? He’s not even looking where he’s going! Bah, I guess everyone’s listening to the radio –

Son number 1: the war and all….

Me: yeah, so I guess they’re all listening to the radio for news on the war and they’re totally not paying atttention TO DRIVING THEIR FUCKING CAR!

Son number 1 (in his awesome radio announcer’s voice): As of this moment, President Bush has caused only four soldiers have been killed in the war. President Bush has, however, caused 5 car accidents every 20 seconds.

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